Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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