I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
