Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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