so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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