just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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