I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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