I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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