i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Randomize
