Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon