I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.