Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
