so that wasnt chicken after all
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize