I'm eating all of the evidence.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
