how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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