I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Randomize
