when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
