so explain again why im purple
no
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
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