Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
