Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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