JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
