Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
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