I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
The power of my boobs compel you
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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