STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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