You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize