help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize