i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
smell my finger.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
