I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
