I looked at my own cervix.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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