how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
