they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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