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I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
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