It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.