Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
