from now on my penis is your penis
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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