The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
there was a trapeze. enough said
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
