No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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