she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
