Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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