I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
