I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
You took a bar mat shot.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
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