That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i was born a porn star she said
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
