oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
