We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
