I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need moral support for this bender
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize