I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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