Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
