Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
