He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
