Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize