I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
is it fun? or sober?
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