he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
