...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
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