Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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