if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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