ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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