this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
