thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
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