Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
