i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
