coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
