You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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