Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
so let's talk penis.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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