Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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